Oh no....

Please do not tell me I'm coming down with the flu. Everyone in my family has had it but me and today is the third day I have woken up after a full night of sleep, and everything hurts. I mean everything. I so don't want to go to work today. I wish I could just burrow back down in my covers and sleep for another 8 hours.

I'm fighting this flu so bad with every vitamin I can shove down my throat but I still feel lousy.

Dang it, it's time to get ready for work. ::groans::

Depending on what genre I am writing for.....

- If it's dean/jo I have an itunes playlist that specifically starts with "The Pretender" by the Foo Fighters so I can get into "Jo's" head. It consists of a lot of rock and dark moody music and a fantastic playlist called 'stitch up my scars' courtesy of an LJ user on dean_jo... (i'm sorry i can't remember who it was?? If you see this let me know and I'll credit you! Because it's awesome!!!!) EDIT: The author is jamiesspawn

- If it is stargate and it's a sad fic than I put on classical pieces because there is a lot of emotion in classical pieces and it's easier to concentrate.

- If it's personal like my own novel than I put on all my favorite musical scores by Christofe Beck (spell?) and dramatic pieces by Joseph LoDuca.

Does anyone out there know how to use Dreamweaver? I recently got Dreamweaver 8 with my computer upgrade and I am looking at building my own website for my business. Does anyone know any good books or tutorials for beginners for this program?

I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks! :D

Well last night was fun!

I went out for a nice dinner with my mum before the Amber Lawrence concert. We decided on David's old restaurant where he was helping out for the night and I was pretty disappointed with the effort - but happy that I didn't have to pay or cook! Bonus! The meal was ok but it wasn't David's best and I think that was why I was disappointed. David is a good chef but you could tell with the long wait and the presentation of the meal that his heart wasn't in it. It's a shame really because i've seen him produce some AMAZING meals.

But once again we are concentrating on the fact that I didn't have to pay or cook it and I certainly didn't have to clean up after! :D

After dinner we bolted to the concert and thankfully got good seats. I had never heard of the singer, but apparently in country music circles she is big. I always give all kinds of music a chance the first time I hear it so I was all ready to hear some tunes.

Amber came on stage at 8pm and looked full of energy. I know some of the people at our table where a little curious as to why someone would wear a halter top, a mini skirt and (beautiful) black heels in the country but I loved the look! (And secretly wished I looked that good in the same outfit). She was a great performer and so full of happiness. You could tell that whether there where 60 people in the room or 6 she was still happy to sing... and she was quite the character.

She was funny and very outgoing and I quickly found myself liking her style and her voice. I've seen a few gigs live but she sung so perfectly that I doubt any music recording could sound more refined. I found myself singing along and enjoying the concert. Songs like, 'Hole in the Head', 'I've got the blues(about nothing in particular' and 'Good Girls' had me bopping my head and tapping my foot and the memorable song 'Soldier' made my eyes water.

I was sad when the show ended and quickly coned mum into buying me her cds for my birthday. Amber was there at the table working it as the sales chick greeting her fans and saying hello to everyone. She was nice enough to sign my cd (and spell my name right which is a first!) and was really polite.

If only more singers could enjoy their career as much as she seems to enjoy it.

Now the cds are sitting on the desk waiting to be uploaded onto my itunes and i look forward to seeing where her career goes. If you haven't heard her, go check her out on itunes or youtube.

The only other thing occupying my mind right now is the information overload. I recently joined Twitter and after obsessing about it for a day and adding all my fav celebrities, people from LJ, friends and fav blog authors I finally stopped this morning and went, 'Woah. Just stop a second and look at what is happening'. Of a morning and evening I read facebook updates, blog updates, pitnb.com, lj updates and now twitter. Am I suffering maybe an information overload?

Despite feeling being more connected to the world - I have never felt more detached from it.

All this time I spend finding out about what other people are doing and feeling dejected because I don't seem to be doing anything interesting can't be healthy. I said to a friend the other day that I was grateful that things like twitter and facebook and myspace didn't exist when I went to school otherwise I would still be in yr 12 because of all the distractions. The only thing I obsessed about was stargate in high school and mum used to go psycho that i'd get up at 4am to read all the emails (mostly fic) from the sam/jack yahoo group members had sent. During those years though life was still interesting and I was always writing my own stories in my own time and always seemed to be busy.

Now despite doing more I feel less fulfilled. I think all the twittering and facebooking is like junk mail for the brain. For me anyway. I'm certainly not going to preach what is good for other people. So I am thinking that maybe it is time to detox my brain. I think if I want to hear about celebs I can read it in a newspaper or see it on the news. I think if I want to know what my friends are doing I should call them or send them an email. I think the only thing I'll check ONCE a day is LJ because I always feel so inspired by peoples posts and I truly love reading fic. Maybe that way I can get back to enjoying writing my own diary entries and writing my own stories again. If I still have time I should be reading books to enhance and encourage my brain (which means the gossip girl novels get shoved to the back of the bookcase).

Two quotes have got me to this stage;

1) "Knowledge is learning something every day... wisdom is letting go of something everyday" and,

2) "You used to be into intellectual things - reading, writing and learning and now it's all gossip girl, trash magazines and what everyone else is doing" (Mum)

So here I am right now.

Giving up and letting go of the junk mail for my brain and embracing knowledge and trying new things again. Here goes, wish me luck!

:D

~ Nicky

I know I haven't written in a while because I've been crazy busy with the business but I am so freaking mad right now my hands are shaking as I write this.

We all know how facebook can be. You are casually glancing at photos and seeing what mood your friends are in and what they are up to until you see one comment and suddenly you are replying before you have a chance to think it through. However this time I am glad I replied.

I woke up this morning to see my ex-fiance saying he is, 'weighing up the pros and cons of becoming a vigil-anti... It seems like a good idea considering the ineptitude of every member of the NSW police 'service' in Sydney that I've had the 'pleasure' of having to deal with recently...'

Well I went off my rocker and used up all the characters going off at him. Looking like a crazy ex girlfriend, yes. Proving my point, yes. Wanting to punch him in his stupid face - absolutely!

I couldn't believe it. I know some people might think 'What the big deal?' but he knows my dad is a cop and his best friends are cops and my best friends brother is a cop and etc. To say I was offended was beyond.. ah I can't even find the right words. The thing is my ex, M, is the most rebel without a cause in the world. He thinks he is so anti establishment because he refuses to pay parking fines (used my car once parked it in a tow away zone and then spent 6 months and some of my money fighting it because the car was 15 centimeters inside a clear spot to park), and is generally a punk ass. I hated his disrespect for authority because he is such a soft ass and has NEVER seen true horror in his life.

Anyway, I wrote a massive reply on his facebook page so that all his little churchy friends (who think he is so pure despite doing all the things he is not supposed to in secret) can see and think about. I bet he is only having a go at the police (from a safe distance mind you) because his stupid car got scratched and he wants justice. He prob left it in a dodgy part of town in the dark and I bet the cops have prob brushed him off because they are busy dealing with a big murder case at the moment. Gosh he is such a tool!!!! How did I ever consider marrying someone like him. I am so pissed at him for thinking he is so freaking better than everyone... Here is what I wrote back... do i sound like a total psycho ex girlfriend?...

'Every member of the police force? Dude be a cop for just ONE day and you'd be runnin home to your mummy. A lot of the time their hands are tied because of the GOVERNMENT. I agree that there are some lazy cops (as there are in EVERY industry) but the ones i've met work their asses off & keep getting slapped in the face by ppl like u who think they can do a better job & have 2 watch everyday as some crazy assed dickheads get away with actual murder because they have a good lawyer.
How the heck would you feel if you started ur day being called to a house where a man has beaten his baby to death & you know he'll get away with it because he will plea 'insanity' & then get called to dig up someone's wife out of a river bank who went missing & have to tell the family (who blame u 4 not saving her) then protect the school kids from the local pedophile & then follow that by scraping some P platers brains off a windshield? Try working that 12-16hrs shift at less then $36-40K a year hero!'

My gosh I am still so furious at him. I know I should just relax and chill its not about me but dammit he might as well have. He knows how loyal I am to my friends and family. If he starts saying shit about cops that he has no business saying then he might as well be saying it about me. He knows what kind of shit my dad had to deal with and he enjoyed feeling like he had that 'extra cop protection' when he was with me and we'd bump into a cop friend - he has no right to be so disrespectful. I bet you he was giving his customary 'attitude' to the cops to and they looked at him and went 'what a tool'.

I do agree that there are some bad cops but every industry there are good guys and bad guys but to say all of them in NSW? And yet if he got bashed or robbed who is the first person he will call? The cops. And because the cops didn't drop everything to help him 100% with what ever pathetic drama he has made for himself he condemns all of them?

I can tell you know M would be is TEARS if he had to do my dad's job. M thinks he is sooo tough but the minute he had to pull a dead baby out of a trash bin or peel one of his friends kids off a power pole or have some drunk dumbass try to glass him he'd run home to his spiderman bed sheets and hide. Yeah you are so cool M, be a vigilante and then I can laugh as your wobbly ass cowers in fright from the 5 times as big as you bikey that has just bashed the shit out of his own wife.

Man I am so angry at him.

Why? How was I ever so blind to what a dumbass he is? How did I for a year consider him as my husband to be and the future father of my children? How?

opps opps opps crap crap crap!

I collected the mail today and I opened my mums letter thinking it was a suppliers letter ( a lot of the suppliers get my mum and I mixed up and i've got a dozen letters that are meant for me not my mum) and well shit....

The job my mum has applied for that she was really excited about and was going to pay 100K has rejected her. I feel awful. I straight away put the letter back and resealed the envelope but I feel so guilty and so bad for my mum. She worked sooo hard on that application and everyone in town knows she could do that tourism job with her hands tied behind her back - so I don't know how they are crazy enough to not hire her.

Oh i feel so bad for my mum. She so deserves this job. I feel bad because she has helped me sooo much with my business and has devoted herself and money all for love and I just wish I could give her some kind of reward and repayment. (i am obviously paying her back every cent when the business is up and running) But I wish i could give her something now.

Far out she is going to be devestated when she finds out she didn't get it. Maybe I should just hide the letter from her? Although I think I would rather a letter than ringing up and having some cow tell me over the phone i didn't get the job. Man what can I do? I know I'll give her a really good back massage tonight. I always cook dinner so that is nothing special but what else can I do for her???? Anyone got any non expensive ideas?

I was shocked when I came across this video on facebook. How can anyone think like this? Clearly these people are insane. How can someone celebrate the death of so many innocent lives?

It seems of late a lot of people are having a bad day/week/month/year, So I dedicate this funny pic to them!

Does anyone know where I can watch/download episodes of Sanctuary? I was waiting patiently for it to appear on cable until I found out that Aus sci-fi channel is not picking up the series. WTF?

Anyway so now i'm done waiting and I don't know if we'll EVER get the dvds out here (I mean seriously if you want to stop piracy make it availale to EVERYONE!!!!) so now I'm sick of being patient and I want to see the series.

Anyone? The only ones i seem to find of youtube are summaries eps and surfthechannel wont let me watch without signing up to some stupid program.

Sorry for the rant but gah!

Oy! Yesterday was such a lazy day.

( Click for rant )

Don’t act Innocent

Ok so ‘The Hills’ has become my latest obsession. I have always loved it but have always had to wait until the series came out of dvd (which is only just up to season 2 in Australia) but since we got Austar we have been able to watch the episodes on MTV.

( Click for Episode Thoughts... )

Cause i was feeling down tonight i thought i'd dive into the funnies.



( Click for more funnies )

I'm sorry but these pics just made me laugh so hard....


This one made me laugh because that is usually my face when i realise my brother has eaten the last piece of cheese!!!

Hey, does anyone know where I can find some 'That 70s Show' icons? I have searched for ages now and i just can't seem to find any? I love icons that have text in them. If anyone knows where there are some hidding I would really appreciate it!

Much love!

Snagged from Kristy841


1. Leave me a comment saying, 'interview me'.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. Update your LJ with the answers to the questions. (You must do this, even if it's filtered for my eyes only!)
4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1. What's your ideal pet?

A husband? LOL Ummm a Furling???? They are so dang cute. But i'd settle for a cat.

2. If you could talk to any person in the world, alive or dead, who would it be?

Clay (deceased)

3. If you only had one question for the above what would it be?

Do you ever love me?

4. Who was your first friend on LJ and how did you become friends?

Stack_Attack (Stacey from my old work who no longer uses LJ now)

5. What's your favourite holiday destination?

Peoria, Arizona!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today the family and I hit the river. Bundling up an esky full of soft drinks and bottles of water (and a beer for dad) and our towels we drove down to the Murrabidgee river and unloaded the kyaks. Being a hot day I slathered on sunscreen and aeroguard (gotta keep those damn flies off me!) and pulled on two tank tops over my swimmers (one of the hazards of having big breasts is having to strap these puppies down when participating in sports.... or movement of any kind!) and slipped and slid through the muddy bank to climb (fall) into the kyak.

Mum and I shared the two man kyak while the men each had seperate kyaks. It was shaky to start with (there's nothing like the person in the front seat constantly telling you how you should be paddling) but once we were 1/2 hr out it became relaxing. The river was devoid of any kind of rapids until a speed boat cruised past us. I preffered the waves and paddled into them - much to mum's disgust because she gets motion sickness.

The guys ended up going too far ahead and we decided to cool off in the shade. The kyack is big enough that both passengers can lie back with their feet dangling in the water (which is what I did). Eventually we slowly paddled back and I sung a dozen odd songs and most of jewel's 'spirit' album just loud enough so that only I could hear. I'm a terrible singer and I don't sing in public - but the river was so secluded and devoid of human life that I felt comfortable singing to myself.

By the time we got back our arms where burning - from the sun and from the paddling. I don't think I've ever skulled a bottle of water so fast and half a can of soft drink and I didn't even quench my thirst!

After packing up (mostly me watching while the guys wrestled the kyak back onto the roof of the truck) we headed home for hotdogs and an iceblock. It was a good day and I'm glad I didn't pike out and not go.

While flipping through a scapbooking magazine today this one quote stood out to me and screamed for my attention: -

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screamin - 'WHOO HOO, what a ride!" -Unknown"

I think that is fantastic! What a great idea.

I took this personality test this morning after reading about it on Ro's blog Go here I can tell you I wasn't that surprised by the outcome - I know that I can be quite introverted and it's getting worse as I get older. Anyway here are the results;

Your Type is:


ISFJ
- Introverted - Sensing - Feeling - Judging

Guardian™ Portrait of the Protector (ISFJ)

We are lucky that Protectors make up as much as ten percent the population, because their primary interest is in the safety and security of those they care about - their family, their circle of friends, their students, their patients, their boss, their fellow-workers, or their employees. Protectors have an extraordinary sense of loyalty and responsibility in their makeup, and seem fulfilled in the degree they can shield others from the dirt and dangers of the world. Speculating and experimenting do not intrigue Protectors, who prefer to make do with time-honored and time-tested products and procedures rather than change to new. At work Protectors are seldom happy in situations where the rules are constantly changing, or where long-established ways of doing things are not respected. For their part, Protectors value tradition, both in the culture and in their family.

Wanting to be of service to others, Protectors find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden, and can deal with disability and neediness in others better than any other type. They are not as outgoing and talkative as the Provider Guardians [ESFJs], and their shyness is often misjudged as stiffness, even coldness, when in truth Protectors are warm-hearted and sympathetic, giving happily of themselves to those in need.

Their reserve ought really to be seen as an expression of their sincerity and seriousness of purpose. The most diligent of all the types, Protectors are willing to work long, hard hours quietly doing all the thankless jobs that others manage to avoid. Protectors are quite happy working alone; in fact, in positions of authority they may try to do everything themselves rather than direct others to get the job done.

Thoroughness and frugality are also virtues for them. When Protectors undertake a task, they will complete it if humanly possible. They also know better than any other type the value of a dollar, and they abhor the squandering or misuse of money. To save, to put something aside against an unpredictable future, to prepare for emergencies-these are actions near and dear to the Protector's heart. For all these reasons, Protectors are frequently overworked, just as they are frequently misunderstood and undervalued. Their contributions, and also their economies, are often taken for granted, and they rarely get the gratitude they deserve.

The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day.

Day 5: When I was feeling really sick and had a headache my mum put the air con on (even though she was cold) and rubbed my shoulders until i was drowsy enough to relax and sleep. That's Love :D